Career SuccessMar 08, 2023

Cultivating Confidence

How is it that some women ooze confidence when they walk into a room?  And how can you get some of that confidence for yourself?

Although it appears like some women are just born confident, confidence is a skill that can be developed.  So, the good news is, if you want to become a more confident person, you absolutely can!

There are 5 things that confident women learn to do that create an unshakable confidence:

1. Believe in themselves.

Belief is a powerful force!  It drives your behavior and the way people respond to you.  Confidence starts in your mindset, and whatever you tell yourself you are capable of, you end up getting.  Becoming aware of your beliefs and choosing new ones is the foundation to confidence.  Decide who and what you want to be, and then notice any intruding thoughts that don’t support that vision.  What beliefs about yourself are not serving you that it is time to let go of?  It’s time to replace them with empowering ones!

2. Stay in their lane.

One of the biggest confidence crushers is comparing yourself to other women.  This is not only a confidence buster, but a career killer.  The fastest way to lose confidence in yourself is to be constantly looking at what other people are doing. There will always be someone ahead of you, hitting bigger goals, getting a promotion, or getting recognized.  Confident and successful women don’t compete with other women, they compete only with themselves.  Watching what other women are doing takes energy and focus off of your own development.  You cannot control what is happening outside of you, but will always have full control over yourself.  This is where you have full power.  Get your eyes off your lady teammates, and back onto yourself.

3. Possess a Growth mindset, forward focused on a big goal.

Confident women are big picture thinkers with clear daily goalsRather than just reacting, they always have a forward lean towards something bigger, while focusing on today’s small actions that move them forward. Having clear goals with a detailed roadmap keeps your focus on the right things, and is a huge confidence creator. Building confidence in ourselves comes from small disciplines and mini wins every single day.  Want an instant confidence boost?  Set a goal, with a short deadline, write it down, and take immediate action. Hit a small goal and celebrate something every day! Little achievements every day will give you an instant shot of confidence to keep building on.

4. Have solution oriented thinking.

Women with confidence don’t let problems take over their time, energy or emotions. Confident women seem to always be emotionally steady, calm and collected.  Why?  Because they trust their ability to solve anything that comes their way.  They anticipate that problems will happen, and have a solution-oriented mindset towards whatever challenges occur.  How do they do this?  They focus on what is within their control and letting go of what is not.  Confidence comes from focusing on the right things, and shifting energy away from the wrong things.  When an unexpected challenge comes along, they focus on positive outcomes, and start working towards controllable, creative solutions.

5. Take confident actions, despite fear.

The most successful women you will meet make it a habit to always be in a state of moving through their fear. Confident women have fear, they just choose to see it as a green light rather than a red one.  Feeling nervous?  Good, that means you’re growing! Don’t think something is wrong with you if you don’t feel confident. Trying to avoid fear-inducing situations paralyzes you in place, and just produces more fear.  Jump, and the net will appear.  Don’t give away your power by listening to the negative thoughts in your head that want to talk you into staying in your comfort zone.  Building confidence means acting like you are the most confident person in the room, even when you are not.

Confidence is a decision, a mindset, a behavior, and a habit.  Decide that you want to be a confident woman, and choose the thoughts and actions that support that version of you. Visualize yourself as the most confident successful woman you can imagine, and with consistent actions in the direction of this vision, you will soon become her.


About the Author — Brandi McGoldrick has been in leadership for two decades, with a focus primarily on women as they build their careers and grow into leaders. She started her career in sales and then expanded into training, sales management, sales support, new product development, and developed several multi-million dollar sales and customer fulfillment teams. She’s hired, trained, managed and mentored countless women into award winning leaders throughout her career. She is currently a freelance consultant, writer, and mentor to women in leadership. She lives in Kane County, IL with her husband and two children.

written by:
Brandi McGoldrick